Dino Riki (nes) review

It sucks.

Hellraiser 2 is a movie for you.

Okay Hellraiser 2, After all the deaths in the first movie Kirstie explains honestly and she obviously is believed because what happened in the first film was so likely to happen....END OF MOVIE. Nope she's put in an insane asylum and y'know one of the dudes is a psychopath who had been keeping track of Pinhead and other hell-y stuff so he ends up bringing back Julia from the last film,also Kirstie's dad tells her about hell and how miserable he is y'know just Dad stuff. Anyways there's a mute girl who solves puzzles who GUESS WHAT SHE OPENS ILL GIVE YOU A HINT IT'S HELL IN A BOX. So yeah Julia Satanist Doctor and Kirstie all go right into hell so does puzzle girl and Julia throws the doctor into a hell machine then her and Kirstie have a run in with frank who was then killed? I'm not sure how you die in hell but Julia got revenge on him and then it shows the doctor becoming a Cenobite then Julia dies and Puzzle girl and Kirstie escape hell sort of see a bunch of insane people like puzzle girl and Plant monster attacks the Cenobites become human Puzzle girl has back story revealed (the doctor killed her mom) and SOLVES HELL. Yep solved hell it was a puzzle  anyways the doctor did stuff I wanna go into more detail but...it's just crazy. Either way it's the professor Layton of Hellraiser also there's a badass twist near the end too and it shows some cool stuff. See ya for Hellraiser 3 bye.

Hellraiser 3 Hell on earth is VIETNAM for what its worth

Alright this movie is about an investigative reporter who wants to do a story on the box and it's a genius spin on just someone finding the box or anything like that. The side characters are awesome and have there own identity and stories. It gives a reasonable explanation to Pinhead and overall it's really great. A club owner ends up buying the spinning tower thing from the first two movies and gets blood on it and guess what, it starts eating people. Yeah and honestly even the intentional dick was kind of a good character in it's own right. Also RANDOM VIETNAM DREAMS you'll know when you see it. The Cenobites in this one are decent but just kind of dumb, I will admit though it's pretty nifty how they made people that had died become them. Also there's a blood bath later on that's really friggin cool. You may be wondering why I'm not divulging out the plot to you is because even though it isn't the best plot ever I would rather not divulge too much on this one cause it could possibly ruin what it has going for it but I give it an 7/10 a C-.

Hellraiser 1 Frank is fun

Back to one of my favorite franchises Hellraiser that's right we're finishing this franchise even though we did in a stupid order we're still getting it done. So Frank the hero of our story decides to buy everybody's favorite box from hell and immediately dies...technically. So after this all goes down a loving married  couple immediately goes to live in the house Frank used the box in, so yep. The couple is Larry and Julia and Larry has a daughter named Kirstie whose mother is dead...no complicated story just very deceased. Anyways Kirstie is the villain of our story. So Larry gets cut moving in bleeds on the attic floor where Frank died and BADABOOM ZOMBIE FRANK yeah it's revealed that Julia banged Frank senseless so whenever he shows up sex happens through flashbacks and some other events. So yeah Frank pounds it in a few flashbacks exposition happens and    DEATH HAPPENS! So uh cock tease Julia starts taking dudes home and feeding them to Frank, I like to imagine he just uses a bendy straw to eat the men because it never really shows him absorbing them. Anyways a bunch of stuff  goes down along this line and it turns out the mascots after him (aka the cenobites) so he has to do all this healing satanism quick. But Kirstie has to ruin everything by walking in on Julie's not sexing and murder and immediately tells on her "DAD YOUR WIFE'S KILLING PEOPLE!" After that a few events where Larry almost dies...well  before all that SPOILER WARNING Kirstie gets the box after seeing zombie Frank and then has a quick dash through hell where which she makes a deal with the Cenobites to help get back Frank. The point is Frank took Larry's skin,killed Julie,Cenobites get him,STEVE IS ALSO THERE,and Kirstie escapes the Cenobites and then DRAGON TAKES THE BOX. End of movie...overall I love this film and it's a great watch.

Dracula 1992 is a great movie for me and you

FUCKIN YEAH WOOO THIS MOVIES FUCKIN AWESOME Okay so Dracula 1992 is probably better than Bela Lugosi's Dracula....and they all died. But it breaths new li- it breaths new death into Dracula and Van Hellsing or Jonathan Harker or just literally anyone from the book. Firstly I love it because most of it stays true to the original book the plot is near spot on with some changes and additions that are honestly great I mean its rare for a movie to add something to it from a book and be fuckin badass. The actors are all A-listers which I wont spoil for you but y'know pretty awesome cast, and the acting is superb they made characters I didn't care for in the book awesome and lovable and every character feels essential to the film. They all just work together and if you've read the book you know there are some great plot twists. This film is just one of my absolute favorites and tugged at my emotions alot. I rate it 8/10 watch it its on Netflix.

Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein is fine

NYUK NYUK NYUK 1940s humor is the best. Abbot and Costello are packaging workers or whatever and they have to handle Dracula and Frankensteins body's oops I meant to say NOT-Boris Karloff and they have wacky hygincs and Larry Talbot comes to stop the monster and Dracula. Dracula also causes Abbot to have two dates to the same ball...YEP THAT'S A THING. Anyways there names aren't Abbot and Costello in this but I'm just gonna call them that. Anyways I'm not gonna divulge into this films plot because...it's not very reasonable but there are those cheesy moments in it where Abbot sees Dracula but every time Costello comes he's gone or when Abbot ends up with two dates Costello gets him to give him one. And there's a scene where Abbot ends up sitting on the monster and sliding off of him. And it's a bunch of back and forth humor definitely watch it if you like cheesy slapstick from the 40s. The wolf man and Dracula end up fighting while pushing around Abbot in a hospital bed and They refer to the monster as jr through the film and it's all just lovable. Also EVERYONE DIES seriously almost everyone except Abbot and Costello burn or drown to death. Also invisible man cameo at the end.

Guardians of the Galaxy review because its new

Ok so here are my upfront opinions on the film incase you get confused by what I'm about to say I like the movie as well as most of the characters apart from two of them I say its worth a watch but not to be on the top of your list by far its flaws and problems are very potent but it is cool and Rocket Raccoon had a lot of development with  his relationship with Groot but it just has some awful things in it so let the review of this movie begin.
Guardians of the Galaxy is a film based off of a Marvel comic much like the Avengers or Iron Man or all that jazz and its probably an attempt to make cash off an existing franchise and it's fans. Also one quick thing they made a comic book reboot of the Guardians of the Galaxy comic and it sucks I bought the first issue of it and there were around 10 pages of Groot and Rocket hardly talking with very empty artwork and the rest were pages from older comics so yeah maybe they were trying to cash in while the iron was hot on there movies. Anyways so the movie has a touching scene with Star lord aka Chris Pratt who recently was in a little film called the lego movie which was very popular so you know they kinda tried to draw people in by having someone who was popular recently in a movie they like. MARKETING MARKETING MARKETING MARKETING MARKETING MARKETING. Seriously though Marvel kind of just wanted to make money off of this one by having a recently popular star play Star Lord. But anyways it starts off by having a very touching scene with his mom dying and getting abducted by aliens who do appear later in the movie but its never explained why they were there. Also right before his mom dies she gives him a gift to open after shes gone but guess what he doesn't open it until the end of the film just so they could have an excuse for the end of the film to be touching by having him have a gift his dead mom gave him any rational person who misses there parent would NOT wait 25 years to open the last thing they gave them. And imma skip some crap cause its pointless but Rocket and Groot go after him cause he has a bounty on his head cause he stole a very important object that his love interest also wants then they all get caught and go to jail and decide to team up and they meet another guy who wants to kill her cause her father is Thanos and Thanos killed her family  but he decides not too and come with her to find him and Rocket and Groot help them all escape with some comedy from Rocket on the way and stuff happens blah HE PILOTS A SPACE SHIP WITH ANOTHER SPACE SHIP THIS MOVIE IS GREAAAAAAATZZZZZZ *ahem* I'm sorry for my outburst but they go  to this planet find out it's a badass world destroying stone that he stole earlier and betrayed the aliens that raised him  or whatever then it gets stolen by Thanos goons and they get the stone and Gamoras sister tries to kill her  anyways he has to save Gamora  from her sister by getting her out of space by getting abducted by those aliens he betrayed and they end up all being on there and they make a deal with the aliens and then I cant say anymore without spoilers but Thanos is hardly mention and hes the most powerful thing in the universe apparently but they just ignore him. Rocket and Groot both have a few touching scenes the characters have like hardly any development except Rocket and Groot and they literally decide LETS BE FRIENDS in like a day and unghhhh there are alot of flaws it's still okay but yeah Guardians of the Galaxy 6 out of 10 enjoyable but problematic  so yeah my opinion is probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different from anybody else who sees this cause I know Marvel fanboys love it (I watched it with one) but critics probably wont.