The Zelda post everyone will hate me for

The Zelda post everyone will hate me for.

After finally replaying Oot on my 3ds for the first time in like two years I realized something, I DONT ENJOY OCARINA OF TIME AT ALL. And I think it’s my least favorite Zelda game. Now wait before this post is brutally assaulted with people calling me a troll who just repeats topics let me explain my point of view. I don’t like Ocarina of time because…I find it boring personally. ”But how can you say that with all the great combat and plot in it?” you may be thinking and sure I admit Oot does have a good plot and combat but it has a lot more of doing absolutely nothing when you have to travel through it’s giant empty terrain (looking at you Hyrule field).

This wouldn’t be a problem if you could just do something while walking to your next destination or watching a cutscene. For example in Wind waker you could fight pirates and find treasure they incorporated the empty sea into an adventure, Or look at one of the best Zelda games Twilight Princess they incorporated both of these by making the distances smaller and giving you a cool wolf form to expand upon the gameplay (props to Majoras mask for doing this aswell). 

Also Oot has so many missed opportunities like how in the fire temple the big wall of fire is blocking you and you have to get rid of it, why couldn’t they have made you used those skills to find another way around it and fight a mini boss to get by so it feels like an adventure! I personally am not a fan of Oot and think it’s a flawed game and honestly don’t understand its appeal. So if you read this and disagree (which I would understand since I only argued one point and didn’t explain as clearly as possible) tell me why you find Oot to be good.

Dino Riki (nes) review

It sucks.

Hellraiser 2 is a movie for you.

Okay Hellraiser 2, After all the deaths in the first movie Kirstie explains honestly and she obviously is believed because what happened in the first film was so likely to happen....END OF MOVIE. Nope she's put in an insane asylum and y'know one of the dudes is a psychopath who had been keeping track of Pinhead and other hell-y stuff so he ends up bringing back Julia from the last film,also Kirstie's dad tells her about hell and how miserable he is y'know just Dad stuff. Anyways there's a mute girl who solves puzzles who GUESS WHAT SHE OPENS ILL GIVE YOU A HINT IT'S HELL IN A BOX. So yeah Julia Satanist Doctor and Kirstie all go right into hell so does puzzle girl and Julia throws the doctor into a hell machine then her and Kirstie have a run in with frank who was then killed? I'm not sure how you die in hell but Julia got revenge on him and then it shows the doctor becoming a Cenobite then Julia dies and Puzzle girl and Kirstie escape hell sort of see a bunch of insane people like puzzle girl and Plant monster attacks the Cenobites become human Puzzle girl has back story revealed (the doctor killed her mom) and SOLVES HELL. Yep solved hell it was a puzzle  anyways the doctor did stuff I wanna go into more detail but...it's just crazy. Either way it's the professor Layton of Hellraiser also there's a badass twist near the end too and it shows some cool stuff. See ya for Hellraiser 3 bye.

Hellraiser 3 Hell on earth is VIETNAM for what its worth

Alright this movie is about an investigative reporter who wants to do a story on the box and it's a genius spin on just someone finding the box or anything like that. The side characters are awesome and have there own identity and stories. It gives a reasonable explanation to Pinhead and overall it's really great. A club owner ends up buying the spinning tower thing from the first two movies and gets blood on it and guess what, it starts eating people. Yeah and honestly even the intentional dick was kind of a good character in it's own right. Also RANDOM VIETNAM DREAMS you'll know when you see it. The Cenobites in this one are decent but just kind of dumb, I will admit though it's pretty nifty how they made people that had died become them. Also there's a blood bath later on that's really friggin cool. You may be wondering why I'm not divulging out the plot to you is because even though it isn't the best plot ever I would rather not divulge too much on this one cause it could possibly ruin what it has going for it but I give it an 7/10 a C-.

Hellraiser 1 Frank is fun

Back to one of my favorite franchises Hellraiser that's right we're finishing this franchise even though we did in a stupid order we're still getting it done. So Frank the hero of our story decides to buy everybody's favorite box from hell and immediately dies...technically. So after this all goes down a loving married  couple immediately goes to live in the house Frank used the box in, so yep. The couple is Larry and Julia and Larry has a daughter named Kirstie whose mother is dead...no complicated story just very deceased. Anyways Kirstie is the villain of our story. So Larry gets cut moving in bleeds on the attic floor where Frank died and BADABOOM ZOMBIE FRANK yeah it's revealed that Julia banged Frank senseless so whenever he shows up sex happens through flashbacks and some other events. So yeah Frank pounds it in a few flashbacks exposition happens and    DEATH HAPPENS! So uh cock tease Julia starts taking dudes home and feeding them to Frank, I like to imagine he just uses a bendy straw to eat the men because it never really shows him absorbing them. Anyways a bunch of stuff  goes down along this line and it turns out the mascots after him (aka the cenobites) so he has to do all this healing satanism quick. But Kirstie has to ruin everything by walking in on Julie's not sexing and murder and immediately tells on her "DAD YOUR WIFE'S KILLING PEOPLE!" After that a few events where Larry almost dies...well  before all that SPOILER WARNING Kirstie gets the box after seeing zombie Frank and then has a quick dash through hell where which she makes a deal with the Cenobites to help get back Frank. The point is Frank took Larry's skin,killed Julie,Cenobites get him,STEVE IS ALSO THERE,and Kirstie escapes the Cenobites and then DRAGON TAKES THE BOX. End of movie...overall I love this film and it's a great watch.

Dracula 1992 is a great movie for me and you

FUCKIN YEAH WOOO THIS MOVIES FUCKIN AWESOME Okay so Dracula 1992 is probably better than Bela Lugosi's Dracula....and they all died. But it breaths new li- it breaths new death into Dracula and Van Hellsing or Jonathan Harker or just literally anyone from the book. Firstly I love it because most of it stays true to the original book the plot is near spot on with some changes and additions that are honestly great I mean its rare for a movie to add something to it from a book and be fuckin badass. The actors are all A-listers which I wont spoil for you but y'know pretty awesome cast, and the acting is superb they made characters I didn't care for in the book awesome and lovable and every character feels essential to the film. They all just work together and if you've read the book you know there are some great plot twists. This film is just one of my absolute favorites and tugged at my emotions alot. I rate it 8/10 watch it its on Netflix.

Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein is fine

NYUK NYUK NYUK 1940s humor is the best. Abbot and Costello are packaging workers or whatever and they have to handle Dracula and Frankensteins body's oops I meant to say NOT-Boris Karloff and they have wacky hygincs and Larry Talbot comes to stop the monster and Dracula. Dracula also causes Abbot to have two dates to the same ball...YEP THAT'S A THING. Anyways there names aren't Abbot and Costello in this but I'm just gonna call them that. Anyways I'm not gonna divulge into this films plot because...it's not very reasonable but there are those cheesy moments in it where Abbot sees Dracula but every time Costello comes he's gone or when Abbot ends up with two dates Costello gets him to give him one. And there's a scene where Abbot ends up sitting on the monster and sliding off of him. And it's a bunch of back and forth humor definitely watch it if you like cheesy slapstick from the 40s. The wolf man and Dracula end up fighting while pushing around Abbot in a hospital bed and They refer to the monster as jr through the film and it's all just lovable. Also EVERYONE DIES seriously almost everyone except Abbot and Costello burn or drown to death. Also invisible man cameo at the end.